Gym Farts. Are They Really Necessary?

Gross.  Why does anyone do it?  It is one of the worst places ever to let out a putrid cloud of gas.  Everyone knows that right?  I mean, in a gym most people are working their butt off (pun intended) sure there are always a few ‘posers‘, and at the end of a set you are gasping your lungs out trying to pull in bucketfulls of air.  The last thing you need is for someone to open their lunchbox so that you breath in something fetid.

Today at the gym someone blew the big brown horn.  Actually it was a silent one naturally, so no-one knew who it was.  I was very surprised actually, as in my experience Thais are sticklers for manners and good hygiene – more so than Westerners (yeah – a huge generalization there).  In my 5+ years in Thailand I’ve only known of someone to give the anal salute in the gym maybe 2 or 3 times.  The other times have been while running on the treadmill – which is also a terrible place to smell someone crack a rat.

However when I was in China, you could almost guarantee that everytime you went to the gym someone would step on a frog.  Often more than once.  In China they really don’t give a shit (pun intended) about bodily noises.  They are usually more well known for their propensity to hoick up a big wad of boogers and spit on the ground….. or carpet….. or wall – whatever is convenient, however I can attest that they are quite relaxed about letting stuff leak out of other orifices too.

Which reminds me, in China they have these horrible split pants which they put on toddlers instead of nappies.  If you ask the locals about it they will croon on about how it is such a wonderful invention – the best thing since sliced bread – with a big smile on their face.  They just can’t understand how we find it so repulsive that they’d let their kids shit and piss anywhere in public.  Parents will take their kids wearing these things into restaurants, so you have to check your seat before you sit down in case there is a wet patch.  A nightmare if you are eating somewhere where they have cloth seats.  And just think about all the disease that is being spread by having feces and urine everywhere.  Parents don’t clean up after their kids.

Anyway, we were talking about one gun salutes. How is that people fart in a public place like the gym?  Surely everyone understands that it is offensive to smell someone else’s bottom burp.  And surely adults are able to control when and where they cut the cheese.  So someone choosing to lay a wind loaf in a gym is deliberately choosing to offend people.  Are there people who really don’t care in a place like that?  Or perhaps there are people who really can’t control the escape of a great brown cloud?  I find that hard to believe though.  Perhaps some people think that their shit fumes won’t stink?  Who is crazy enough to take that risk?

Whatever.  Just don’t fart in the gym people!  It really isn’t funny.

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